


My Love

by Dewdropzz



Series: In Honour of a Good Man [8]
Category: Professor Layton
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:24:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4661349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dewdropzz/pseuds/Dewdropzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't see you all the time. I hope you'll forgive me when I tell you there's too much to be done up here — I can't be watching you every night and day. I don't often see you at the grocery store, or making dinner, or cleaning your office. I have, however, seen you during many important moments of your life: I've seen you solve countless baffling mysteries that only you could solve, I've seen you make extraordinary discoveries for the benefit of all mankind. I've watched the big friendly gatherings, and the small, precious moments you've shared with our child, Alfendi. And I've seen the lives you've changed, and the hearts you've touched. You probably don't know this, Hershel, but there are so many people you've crossed paths with in your lifetime who are greatly indebted to you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Love

The walls of this city are made of jasper, and the streets are of pure gold, clear as glass. The foundations of the walls are adorned with precious stones — All manner of gems imaginable: sapphire and amethyst and topaz and emerald. There are twelve gates in this city: three in the east, north, south, and west, and the gates are all made of pearl. But the gates are never shut by night as they were in ancient cities, for there is no night here. There is no night, but we have no need for the sun or the moon, for the Glory shines like the sunlight, and immerses us in eternal day. And there is no death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither is there any pain, for all these former things have passed away. ...These words are true and faithful. 

I know I can't fully describe to you what it looks like where I am, that is, I can't describe it so that you could comprehend it. The sights I see in the city I'm in cannot be described in human words to be understood by the human mind or perceived by the human eye. The only thing I can safely say is that the place I am in is paradise, and the longer I am here for, the more immaculate it becomes. In your eyes I've been gone for many, many years, but in truth I've barely gotten settled into my new home. I have neighbours who've lived here for much longer than I have, and they all say it feels like just yesterday they arrived. In reality of course, it was not yesterday, as there's no meaning of the word here, and no such thing as tomorrow. The present is all we have in this place, an ever continuing and glorious afternoon... As different as this sounds from life as you know it, my love, this place is not so far away as you might think it is. In a different realm, yes, more real than the flesh, but no matter how far away I may seem, I can still see you, Hershel. I've seen you many times since the day we parted, and though you can't see me, I've always been with you. 

I can't see you all the time. I hope you'll forgive me when I tell you there's too much to be done up here — I can't be watching you every night and day. I don't often see you at the grocery store, or making dinner, or cleaning your office. I have, however, seen you during many important moments of your life: I've seen you solve countless baffling mysteries that only you could solve, I've seen you make extraordinary discoveries for the benefit of all mankind. I've watched the big friendly gatherings, and the small, precious moments you've shared with our child, Alfendi. And I've seen the lives you've changed, and the hearts you've touched. You probably don't know this, Hershel, but there are so many people you've crossed paths with in your lifetime who are greatly indebted to you. Do you know that there's a woman in a hamlet called Misthallery who thinks about you every time she turns another year older? She's so grateful to you for saving her life when she was but a young child, she's promised to never forget you for as long as she lives. There's a lady in a town called Dropstone who tells the story of how she came to be reunited with her grandfather. She remembers every detail clearly, and she never leaves out the part about the brave man in the top hat who came to their rescue when all seemed lost. I've watched little Luke grow into a gentleman, guided by the principles you taught him. Flora has loved you like her own father, and your friends adore you more than you could ever realize. I've learned during my time here that everybody has a purpose: a unique gift that they alone can give to the world, and if they use it correctly, they can make a difference only they can make. You've fulfilled your life's role so well, Hershel — Brilliantly so. You've been such a gentleman in your lifetime. You've been everything I'd hoped you would become when I first gave you that top hat. 

You know I loved you with all my heart and soul — To this day, I still do. You were always such a kind, compassionate, wonderful human being. Since the first time I saw you, I knew there was something special about you, something I fell madly in love with the moment our eyes met. We were friends for a while, and then one day I realized that the feelings I had for you were not just a case of me being an over-emotional, love struck undergrad. You had helped me so much with my studies, and had always been there for me, as my friend and my supporter, and my comforter when I needed one. I was too shy to tell you to your face, so I wrote you a letter from the heart. From that day on we were together... And I wanted to be with you always. When you earned your PhD, I wanted to celebrate with you. I wanted to buy you something special to show how proud I was of you. When I saw that top hat in the window of the hat shop on Kensington High Street, I knew I had found the perfect gift. To me it was the very picture of a successful and sophisticated intellectual; a dignified and charismatic London university professor — The picture of a true gentleman. It was the vision of everything I wanted for you. True gentleman are hard to come by, and very few men are truly deserving of the title. But Hershel, I knew if anyone could do it, you could if you put your heart into it. I thought the hat would be the perfect little push you needed to try your best every day. I hoped that you would wear it while you were on campus, and that it would remind you of your girlfriend back home who wanted more than anything for you to be a gentleman... I hadn't the slightest idea how earnestly you would keep your promise to "never take it off".

I have to admit, I was a little bit shocked when I realized you'd had your car custom built to accommodate the hat's height! You really did wear it all the time, didn't you? The only time you would remove it was right before bed, and it'd be back on your head as sure as if it was part of your body first thing in the morning. You wore it everywhere you went: to parties, funerals and social gatherings, around campus and around London, around the house and around the world! I knew by that time you were no longer wearing it to remind yourself to be a gentleman. But still you were completely unwilling to take it off even for a moment, and even when it would have been more convenient to remove it, if only for the hat's sake! People would giggle about it, and make cheeky comments about wondering what your head looked like underneath. You became as famous for your hat as you were for your brain — And you didn't mind it one bit, did you? ...I know you wore that hat for my sake, Hershel. The look in your eyes as you carefully lifted it from your head and placed it tenderly on your nightstand next to a picture of us from our college days told me so. If I could have been with you in body to lay beside you all those nights when you were feeling so alone, you know I would have. To kiss your lips and let you feel my heartbeat next to you... To let you know I was still alive... You know I would have given anything. But darling, a beating heart is not essential for life where I am. Though you could not feel my heartbeat against your chest, I was still more alive than you could know. And many nights, /I was with you. I was not there physically, but I could see you. You were never completely alone, my love. I would never have left you alone. 

After we parted, you stopped wearing the hat. You continued to wear it for some weeks, and then, when you stood peering at your reflection in the mirror one day, you broke down crying. I saw that moment. You whispered to me softly through the tears, and you told me that you couldn't wear my top hat anymore; you couldn't bear it. You didn't think I could hear you, but I could. You asked me to forgive you. You asked that I would understand. I hope you know that I could never have been angry with you, Hershel; I completely understood your pain. On Earth, death seems like the worst possible thing that could happen to a loved one, or to ourselves. Where I am now, death seems like no big deal at all. So many earthly matters we were so bothered by seem so trivial, so small and unimportant to all those who dwell here. We don't concern ourselves with those matters now. The only thing of any importance to us on Earth are the loved ones we left behind. And that is why we watch them from time to time. We want to know how they are getting along without us, how they're surviving in the trying and turbulent world they still live in. And Hershel, you've stayed so strong. You've gotten along just fine... Just fine...

You must know the insight you possess bears similitude to those in Heaven, more so than those on Earth. It was not a coincidence that you were born like this — It was a gift that was given to you for a purpose. There are many things that you don't know, Hershel. The greatest mysteries of the world will never be solved on Earth, and cannot be learned in mortality, for His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are His ways our ways. The wisdom you have been given, however, is an unusual blessing most never receive. Your intelligence is what brought you and your brother together. He knew he couldn't discover the legacy of the Azran without you. Your intelligence is what drew all manner of people to you asking for help, and you answered every one of them. All they had to do was ask and you would go to them, and save them. It was as simple as that. And that is the beauty of the universe, Hershel. The keys to life on Earth and life everlasting are so simple that even a child could understand. Many people will not accept this as truth; they can't accept that it's that easy, and will instead go to impressive lengths to try to earn their reward. But toiling for something that doesn't require toil will only result in defeat at the end. In the most important case, it will lead to sheer demise, but when you take a step back and view the world from a distance, you'll realize things aren't always as they seem, but indeed much less complicated and complex. It's black and white. You have solved this puzzle, my love, and that is why you have held the world in your hands. There's only one way to get here, and that is a gift. You have accepted the simple truth, Hershel Layton, and when you did everyone here jumped for joy. They were all watching with me. They hoped that you would. We're like a family here, united by a common bond. We share a perfect love that cannot be explained, neither can it be broken. 

I see you in bed now. You're lying ever so peacefully, your body moving up and down, up and down with every shallow breath, on your face a look of placid acceptance, almost contentedness. You don't look scared at all, and I'm glad for that, as there is no reason to be scared. There's a picture of the two of us in our earlier years beside you. Next to it is a framed drawing our son made when he was young. It depicts an angel, or what a small child at age six believed an angel looked like, with long red hair and the word 'mommy' carefully written in fading letters across the bottom of the paper. And I can't help but wonder, are you looking forward to seeing me as much as I'm looking forward to seeing you? I am not an angel, Hershel, I don't have wings or angelic features. I don't look the same as I did in the picture of you and I, or the way I looked the last time you saw me. But you will recognize me when you get here. You'll recognize me as you'll recognize us all — Your mother and all the saints you've known, and you'll know that we've all been waiting for you. I can't wait to be able to love you with the perfect love that reigns supreme here. I can't wait to be able to hold you again, and never have to let go. Most importantly, I want you to share this place with me. I want you to see the river of life, and the tree of life that bears twelve fruits. I want you to feel the true ecstasy that I feel all the time. The ecstasy that you've been promised. 

So speak to your loved ones, Hershel. I know they're coming to see you one last time. Give them one last puzzle, for that's what you do best. Give them a reassuring and gentle smile, as that's what your famous for. Finish anything you still have left to do on Earth. Tell your friends you love them, and let them know how much you've appreciated their constant companionship and company. And when everything is finished, know that God has prepared a place for you. I can't wait to be with you again...

I'll be waiting for you there.   
Love, Claire


End file.
